Of Demons and Holy Water

Frequently, I have very strange, vivid dreams, but I usually don’t remember them long enough to write them down. Usually, I dream of places I have never been, people I do not know, and in great James Bondian style of intrigue, mysterious happenings, and great feats. I am rarely  in danger per se, but am the one saving the world, rescuing the lost, well, you get the idea. Keep in mind that my dreams are all technicolor extravaganza style full onset smells even.

Last night was different. I was visiting my mother, who sabotaged me at every step of the way once I turned about 11 in real life. I was racing around her house, grabbing table cloths and long kitchen knives so I could hide from my uncle who was going to murder me. My mother came to my hiding place, where I lay beneath the window of the door he was going to come through, and told me to move, taking all 6 knives away from me. I raced to hide under the bar stools in the only dark area, hidden beneath my table cloth. I begged her to give me back my knives, and she returned 2 of them. I was found immediately because she told my uncle where I was when he came through the kitchen door. He pulled me out of my hiding place and started to strangle me. At that point I knifed him, except my nice long kitchen knives were now regular butter knives. Somehow I pierced one through his eye and into his brain while the other I forced into his chest. My mother just stood back and watched. She was not pleased that I had kept myself safe. After all I had just thwarted her plans for me.

I raced out of her house and found myself a bit in the future in a town I have not been to, or maybe I have and don’t remember it. My friends and I were walking from a shopping district into a housing area similar to the ones in New Orleans. We went through the curved, wooden gate into the back courtyard of one of the homes, when a teenage boy with copper colored hair joined us. He closed and latched the gate behind him as we walked to the other side of the pool. Looking across the rectangle of water, I watched as he shimmered and the overlay of teenager dimmed long enough for me to see the demon he was. He seemed to stretch out into a large, muscular, winged demon before my eyes, yet his boy shape never changed. I was still able to see the overlay of human that he was enforcing, the illusion that he was casting. He looked directly at me and told me that he was here to collect us, to dispose of us, to dine upon us. Then he grinned.

Without thinking about what I was doing, I stepped forward and found myself in the middle of the pool. I looked to the demon, then I, who haven’t been to church in literally years, crossed myself and said, “In the name of the father, and the son, and the holy ghost, I bless this water!” The water began to glisten, then to glow softly.

The demon’s eyes grew wide as he replied, “You cannot live in a pool forever.” Then he smirked at me and began stalking over to my friends who had neither moved nor spoken since he entered the gate.

“Your friends will be my snack. You, I shall feast upon after you have had your … bath.”

Then I did as anyone who has ever played in a pool knows to do. I cupped my hands and splashed him with the holy water that I was standing in. The water swelled up, rising in a great swoosh of sparkling wonder, and coated that demon sizzling everywhere it touched. He steamed, then disappeared before my eyes.

Kitten Wars 2/15/15: Perfume is in the Nose of the Beholder ….

Kitten Wars 2/15/15

Well, Teeny has been in one of her more affectionate heats of late. Alex and I have been going around removing anything that might possibly smell of us so the she doesn’t follow along and “scent” it up with that lovely (not so) perfume of hers. Evidently, after our walk, Buddy came back smelling a bit too much of me. Now I freely admit that I gave him a big hug and good pet after being such a wonderful dog, but I surely did not intend for the cat to determine that the dog was now free game. Doing the creepy crouch heat walk of hers, she made her way over to where he lay watching her with one eye. She sniffed the air daintily then promptly turned her rump towards him and perfumed his nose up properly. You’ve never seen a dog rise in such horrified confusion as poor Buddy did. He tried racing around the kitchen, running into the walls as tears welled up in his eyes. Finally, he ran over to where I was on the couch and started shoving his nose under all the cushions trying to get rid of it that way. Meanwhile, Teeny lifted her head up, looked over at us with enormous eyes and blinked as if not realizing just quite what she had done.

Needless to say, the dog got a good bathing of his nose. He has been keeping his distance from her rear ever since. Its kinda cute, he’s upset with her so he will do a quick pounce-bark at her, then remember what she did and run away.

Kitten Wars 1/9/15: Tuckered Out Kitty

The tiny cat is all tuckered out from a long day of pouncing on the wrapping paper monster and from stalking the beast in the paper bag. Within moments of setting my coat on the couch, ninja kitty crept in to create her nest, peacefully sleeping away until I woke her by taking her picture. That is a glare worthy offense didn’t you know? But only a one eyed glare.

The tiny cat is all tuckered out from a long day of pouncing on the wrapping paper monster and from stalking the beast in the paper bag. Within moments of setting my coat on the couch, ninja kitty crept in to create her nest, peacefully sleeping away until I woke her by taking her picture. That is a glare worthy offense didn't you know? But only a one eyed glare ;)

Kitten Wars 1/7/15: A Kitten and Her Bag Will Soon Be Parted …

Cleo decided to investigate this over-sized bag as a possible nest for a kitty in heat. It crinkled happily and all was good until she decided to back out. Her paw caught on the handle, trapping the poor kitty inside. In great efforts to escape she made the bag go air born over and over again until she flipped it upside down and raced off.

Cleo decoded to investigate this oversized bag as a possible nest for a kitty in heat. It crinkled happily and all was good until she decided to back out. Her paw caught on the handle, trapping the poor kitty inside. In great efforts to escape  she made the bag go air born over and over again until she flipped it upside down and raced off.

Kitten Wars 1/2/15: Persona Non Grata in My Own Home

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I’ve had the best holiday season ever thanks to family and friends. I had my best friend come and stay for a couple of weeks which was fabulous. Both of my cats and my dog were completely spoiled by Dallas. The cats took turns getting loved on by him and would hiss at poor Buddy when he ventured too close. By the end of his visit, Cleo, my normally very sweet, everyone loves me and I love everyone kitty, actually stalked over and swiped her claws across the poor dog’s nose completely confusing him. After all, since she was being petted, why couldn’t Buddy put his big dog head in Dallas’s lap and get some of the same. But the clincher came when I returned from the airport after dropping him off to fly away home. Both cats, not just Cleo, came running to the door with the perfect “pet me” meows echoing through the apartment. Cleo in specific looked at me, then watched in disgust as I closed the door and her favorite petting friend did not come through it after me. She glared in my direction, raised her head as high as it could go with her tail straight up and marched off filled with utter disgust that I had dared to come home without him. Persona NON Grata in my OWN place. Spoiled my pets, he did! It took Buddy almost 3 hours to get over it. He kept going back and forth to my son’s room, then back to the front door looking, waiting for Dallas to come through it. The cats are still trying to decide if I’ll ever be allowed to pet them again. I’m sure they will get over it by breakfast tomorrow.20140720-121721-44241475.jpg

Lust’s Dance

Spinning, whirling confusion sets in

If he doesn’t like her, does she still like him?

Is it love if it set

Is it lust if it stays?

Is it time without end

On the last of all days?

Spinning, whirling, confusion remains

If she can’t stand him, will he stay the same?

Will the next one walk in

Trotting out all his best?

Is it truthful to lie?

Are the lies his bequest?

When the long days are short

And the sun’s fallen down

When the moon parks above

With the stars’ glimmering gown

When he says he will leave her

And she doesn’t believe

Will he sense disaster

Until she conceives?

It is spinning, twirling

Out of control

Life everlasting

Lust’s dance …

impossible

A dog and his kibble

My dog is an easy 110 -115 pounds depending on what time of year it is. He is the sweetest of animals and the most loyal. He trails me everywhere I go and will happily lie on the edge of the runway kitchen while I make meals. The problem with a 110+ pound dog, is that they are a little bit more than a speed bump when it comes to moving beyond. And while he is very good about remaining still, occasionally he just can’t stop from popping his head up and nailing whomever is stepping over him well, in the center of all things painful. But that is not what today is about. Today is about the one thing that my dog absolutely refuses to learn and that is to keep his kibble in his bowl or the bathroom.

Buddy, has a head that is easily bigger than my own. It is a big, blocky head that is part labrador and part mastiff to give you a hint. He has droopy over hanging lips that seem to move on their own to pick up all kinds of things that I wish he wouldn’t. So when I feed him, I put the food in the bowl in the bathroom so that he is out of the way. Now for those of you who have never had a big dog who still has his tail, let me tell you that thing is LETHAL! When Buddy eats, his tail could hack down a tree from all the wagging it does.  So, like I said, his kibble is in the bathroom. Well, he does not agree with this idea and never really has. You see, if he is eating it where the bowls are, then he cannot see what I or my son are doing. SO he painstakingly tucks pieces of kibble into his lips and drops them on my off white carpet at the entrance to the kitchen so that he can eat and watch me cook at the same time. He has the best of both worlds there, especially if I drop something to the floor that a dog might like.

Remember, I said Off White Carpet? Yes, Off White! It is now also Off Brown, Off Red, and Off Beige from where he and I have been having the kibble war. Thank goodness, kibble stains aren’t really stains. They do clean up, just not the first time. I love my dog. He is a sweet mountain of mess 🙂

Days or Nights

obsidian mirror

Days, nights mingling

Turning into a miasma

Of should have,

Could have

Might have

Becoming

A filmed-over mirror

Of  time

Lost

Kitten Wars: Ninja Kitty and the Art of Being Picked Up

The cats have decided that they will take turns in claiming which human they will deign to show their affection. I’m guessing it is because I am generally quietly relaxing on the sofa, that I get Miss Sofa Shoulder Cat (Teeny) much more frequently than my son who is a constant motion machine. This frustrates him because he wants to pet Teeny and love all over her, but just won’t slow down enough to do so most days. So he picks her up, a lot, which she absolutely does not like and will loudly voice her opinion about on most days.

Teeny will actually tell him off for quite a while when he picks her up. She has this little purrupt meow that she uses quite extensively in multiple sounds and ranges to convey her extreme dislike of being picked up. But, my son is not one to be discouraged. Every day, he picks her up for 5-10 minutes at least 5 times a day during the week and more over the weekends. I’m guessing that he is wearing her down, slowly. She no longer trots off to parts unknown or to the area behind my shoulders on the couch when she sees him coming. She has even not chewed him out about it a few times. So this is progress. She knows he won’t drop her, at least.

Cleo on the other hand has taken to hunting anything that could possibly move in the house. And, quite frankly, even if it doesn’t move, and she can figure out a way to make it move, she does. This includes but is definitely not exclusive to single pieces of toilet paper, nerf darts, pieces of clothing, toy discs, and anything else that she believes can be hunted.

Recently, my son has been shooting off his nerf disc gun much to Cleo’s delight. He has not figured out that the reason he keeps losing his discs is because the cat hijacks them as soon as she finds them. He will go searching for them immediately after shooting them. Counting them up, he gets annoyed when he can’t find one. Then out of the corner of my eye, I spy Cleo. There is the little tuxedo ninja kitty with a disc in her mouth as she trots off to parts hidden from view to play with and stalk her prey once more.

After she has played with her new toy to her delight, she will come out of hiding and love all over my son. I’m sure that she is thanking him for her new toy, begging him to give her more.

…And Everything in its Place

I’m a teacher. In my classroom I have a table that works as my main teaching space. Beside my table I place a trash can for all of the scraps from the various activities I do with my students. Every day, when I leave my classroom, my trash can is resting beside my chair. When I return in the morning, this is where I find it …

 

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