Kitten Wars: How to blow the mind of your cat

Step one Alter your routine. (There is only one step.)

How to blow the minds of your cats:

This morning started an hour and a half earlier than usual. I couldn’t sleep so decided to go for a walk instead of fighting the stare at the ceiling game and losing. (Yes, the ceiling is still there. It always wins that one.) When I came inside, both kitties were waiting for me at the door to tell me exactly why I shouldn’t go out into the cold before daylight. For starters, well, its COLD out there and DARK. And don’t you know that you do not go WALKING first!

They were quite forthright with much “paws out” and tails swishing making constant eye contact while they told me off for emphasis. As a unit, they decided to help me get back on my morning routine. While Cleo led the way to the shower, Jeager escorted me, herding me along to ensure that I got where I should have gone first.

Just to make sure that I stayed where they put me, both cats checked up on me a few times. They parted the curtain, stuck their heads inside, “You still with the Water Beast? Yes? GOOD!”

Teens and what they believe

A conversation between teenagers:
Boy enters the room 15 minutes until the bell.
Girl: Where’ve ya been?
Boy: Just got my physical. I’m gonna play soccer in the spring and football in the fall!”
Girl: Noooo! You can’t play football! You’ll get lots of injuries and STD’s from the injuries! Then you’ll get Alzheimer’s!
Me: Um, do you mean concussions?
Girl: Concussions, STD’s they’re all the same thing!